I started out this week intending to whine, complain and just plain feel sorry for myself. You see, I was playing single mom all week. Dad-oo was traveling for business all week. All week. That’s a long time.
I actually had a post all written up. About how hard it was. About how I just needed some time. For myself. About how some days/weeks are harder than others. Whine, whine, whine. I’ll spare you the actual post, it isn’t pretty.
As I was sitting here, feeling sorry for myself, and anxious at the same time (did I mention that I interview Jeff Corwin on Wednesday?), I kept spiraling down and down, with no end in sight. Until the much anticipated, and much stressed over, interview took place. Which went very smoothly I must add. And all of a sudden, snap, I felt like a new person.
I realized that I tend to get trapped in my little world. In all of the problems that I have (too many playgroups and friends who want to see me and the kiddo, poor me!). I get trapped in my mind, my insecurities, my fears and my doubts. And when I get trapped, I have a really hard time getting out.
Unless, I do something that really takes me out of my comfort zone, like interviewing a famous person (I mentioned Jeff Corwin, right?). It doesn’t have to be something huge and life altering, but just something that gets me out of my head, makes me look around and realize that I have it pretty good. I have everything that I need out of life, and more.
I know that this is common, something that happens to everyone, even if we don’t like to talk about it. But for me, I’ve noticed that it has gotten worse since I’ve become a stay-at-home mom. I don’t have a job to pull me out of a slump. All I have is myself and this crazy little kiddo running around my feet, keeping me on my toes. And while that should be enough to snap me out of a slump, it sometimes isn’t (although those big bear hugs don’t hurt).
So from now on, when I feel myself sinking, I’m going to do something new, something that I haven’t done in a long time or something that just give me a quick snap. Sing at the top of my lungs to a song I love. Dance around the living room like a crazy woman. Go to a new restaurant or store. Pack the kiddo up in his snow gear and head out to a park, even if it is only 20º and cloudy outside. Whatever. I’m going to make a conscious effort to be in control of how I feel, and if a bad, spiraling downward day is creeping in, I’m going to shut the door right in it’s face. Take that!
I do have a burning question for the other SAHM’s out there. Do you suffer from the same thing? Have you noticed that it is worse than before you had kids/stayed at home? And most importantly, how do you deal with those days?
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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
As you know I’m back to work next week & willno longer be at home with my boys all day. But I wanted to say that is much like one my moments of random clarity. If you are like me, it kind of makes you wonder why we struggle so (just for those fleeting moments). But what is important is to validate both sets of feelings as real & important and most especially not to feel guilty when you can’t help but be downon everything. It’s a natural part of the job & without a doubt you are not alone.
.-= Christine LaRocque´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.
@Christine LaRocque, It’s so nice to know that other moms have the same days (and sometimes weeks). It’s funny, but the hardest part for me is feeling guilty about feeling down. Which of course, makes me feel even more down. Sometimes it’s a vicious circle.
I started a f/t job from home last month and so miss being a stay at home mom. It was so challenging, but I really do think it’s the best job on earth.
@Scary Mommy, I agree, it’s the best job on earth, and I’ll never regret the decision to stay at home!
Some days if it hits I force myself to go out and enjoy the day with my kids. Other days I declare a “day off” which means something frozen or delivered for dinner, no housework, and a good book. I usually need a break from the everyday to get me back on my game.
.-= Charlotte´s last blog ..Sometimes I am a Fairytale =-.
@Charlotte, I’ve found that just living in the moment with the kiddo helps too. No email, no twitter, no blog, no TV. Just good old fashion playtime. Makes you feel like a kid and lifts the spirit too.
I am totally with you on this one. I am much more anxious and uptight since I started staying home. I have lots of down days and have to do something to pull me out of it. I must say that the winters are the worst! We’re all cooped up inside and it’s dark and dreary most of the time. Here’s to looking forward to spring. It has to come soon…right?!!
.-= Kasey @ All´s last blog ..FEATURE FRIDAY – WANT A POLISHED PRE-SCHOOLER? It starts with you! =-.
@Kasey @ All, I think that the winter totally has something to do with it. I’m tired of being stuck inside or having to plan an extra 5 minutes into our outings just to get everyone bundled up. I’m glad that I’m not the only one who feels this way. I wonder why being at home brings on more anxiety? I still can’t figure that one out.
I think it is great that you bring this up Allison. I think we all have thoughts/moments/days like that. It is good to talk about it rather than feel even more isolated. I think the more we are honest and real with how we feel the less the anxiety builds up. Call me sometime and Petey and I will come over and dance with you guys!
@jennifer johnson, I will do that! Petey is such a funny boy, you both would instantly brighten up my day!