Memory, or for me, loss of, is today’s topic over at Momalom’s 5 for ten. I actually wrote a post a few months back, part of my Stay-at-Home Mom series, which is perfect for this topic. So in honor of today’s topic, I’m republishing it. Enjoy!
I don’t know how this happened, but I have zero memory. It’s bad. Really bad. At least once, but probably closer to 3-978 times a day, I stare blankly at Dad-oo, my computer or just into space trying to remember what I was supposed to do. Or who I was going to call. Or simply trying to figure out the word that is escaping me, but teasing me by popping in and out of my head over and over and over. I feel like I’m searching through my brain, and it’s filled with this gaping holes where my memory used to be.
Dad-oo and I joke that it is lingering pregnancy brain, but is is supposed to still be hanging around 21 months after I gave birth? That just doesn’t seem fair. My body was stretched all out of proportion (never to return to the quite same shape), I was kicked forcefully from the inside for at least 5 months, I had my organs all squished up together, and then I gave birth (I’ll spare you the gory details on that one). And now this.
For whatever reason, it seems to have gotten worse since I made the transition to a stay-at-home mom. You would think it would get better, now that I don’t have to juggle my work life and my home life. But it seems to have had the opposite effect. Possibly because juggling just my home life includes, but is not limited to, the following: meal planning, grocery lists, Book Babies, grocery shopping, breakfast, lunch, snacks, dinner, playgroups, laundry, cleaning, more cooking, another playgroup, music time, work, more breakfasts, lunches, snacks and dinners, yet another load of laundry (when will it ever end!!!), letting the dogs out for the first time since 7:00 this morning, feeding them, yelling at them, giving them love for the yelling, another playgroup, breakfast, lunch, snacks and dinner, cleaning up after any given meal, bath time (crap, when was the last time the kiddo had a bath?), and yes, a final playgroup. Oh crap, I forgot about the one million things I need to pick up from Target. Again. That’s probably the 10th I’ve been there this week. And those are just the things that I can remember today.
Has anyone else experienced this? Does it ever get better? Or do you simply lose more and more brain cells with each child?
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{ 37 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m right there with you. I am not sure that my memory loss is due to smoking weed in H.S, or my lupus. I do know it effects your memory.
I am terrible, the kids call me 5 sec bob from that movie “50 first date”s.
I write alot of post it notes around the house so I don’t forget things.
Good luck
@soccermom, Post it’s are key. I keep notes on my iPod too, but if I leave the house without it, I’m totally lost.
Ohhh yes, how very much yes. I already had a bad memory, and now that I’m home all day with the kiddo’s…oh gosh it’s like they just sucked all of the memory sensors right out of my brain!! I take two steps and forget what the heck I was walking toward. Glad to know I’m not alone :p
@Jenn M, I do that too! I’ll actually wander around the house trying to trigger my memory. Sadly, it never works. But the second I sit down again, I of course remember and have to get up again.
I told my dad, who was supposed to pick something up from me, not 20 minutes before to not let me forget. 20 minutes later and I forgot, completely. It happens. Although he forgot, too. I blame the kids.
.-= C @ Kid Things´s last blog ..Remembering Yesterday =-.
@C @ Kid Things, I blame the kids too, it’s easier than way.
I know this well. I’ve just come to accept it and hope it gets better when I’m getting sleep again.
Just yesterday I was meeting a friend for coffee and I kid you not, 20 minutes before I was due to arrive, I completely forgot her name. A friend! Crazy.
.-= Christine LaRocque´s last blog ..Wisdom to hold on to =-.
@Christine LaRocque, Oh no! I’ve totally done that, and I’ve had friends to it to me. It must be normal if we are all doing it, right?
I definitely feel your pain. My pregnancy brain is certainly still lingering these days postpartum. I often wonder how I was able to work as a nurse after my first daughter.
.-= Momisodes´s last blog ..Close, but no cigar =-.
@Momisodes, Did you notice that it got worse with 2 kids?
@Allison, Oh yeah. Most definitely.
.-= Momisodes´s last blog ..Close, but no cigar =-.
YES. My adult memory is so selective that I’m extra grateful to have clear memories of what my life used to be like!
I’m so glad you stopped by and reminded me to come here. I loved your post at Christine’s place about loneliness, which I related to so well that I had to sit on it for several days. Loved it! Glad to have this introduction to your writing.
.-= Leslie´s last blog ..A short walk to a long lane =-.
@Leslie, I’m so glad you stopped by! I got so many wonderful and heartfelt responses to my post at Christine’s. She has a wonderful following (and blog) doesn’t she?
I think all moms can relate to this. I remember going to the grocery store armed with a list, only to forget a few key items. I even wrote it down! As soon as I got home and put up the groceries, I had to go back again. Ugh!
.-= Rudri´s last blog ..Diamond Courage =-.
@Rudri, That happens to me just about every week. Barely a day goes by when I’m not running to the store for something that I forgot.
I forget things all the time! My husband has the best memory and is super-organized so he thinks I’m crazy… he can’t understand it. But it happens. A lot.
@ShannonL, Thankfully my hubby doesn’t have a great memory either. But we seem to remember the opposite things. I guess that gives us one whole brain then?
Well???? lol, I still have pregnancy brain and my youngest is gonna be 16.
*blink*
@sheila, oh please don’t tell me that it never gets better.
I’m not sure that I can give any concrete advice here…as soon as my brain refocuses, there is another baby throwing it off again.
BUT, the good news is that my mind has been restored each time, so there’s hope!
@Muthering Heights, You are so lucky. Two years into my first baby and my brain still isn’t restored. Although it is better now that it isn’t sleep deprived.
Memory? What memory? I always wondered why my mom forgot things all the time. Now I understand and I so wish I didn’t!
@ck, Same here. I could never understand why my mommy friends had zero memory. Used to get frustrated about it. Now, I totally feel their pain.
I think once I get a good night’s sleep my memory begins returning. Since I haven’t had that in, say, 2 1/2 years I just now assume that I will forget everything and count it a blessing when I remember something. It’s all about optimism.
.-= Amber´s last blog ..That Was Love =-.
@Amber, I like your glass half full approach. I need to remember that.
OK, this made me laugh…I almost posted about this today for Memory!! I’m serious! I was playing the game Memory with my kids the other day and got 2 matches!! They are 9,8 and almost 5 so I can honestly say it doesn’t get better…sorry!!! How funny!
@Tiffany, Ugh, that’s not good news for me. By the time my kiddo is 9 I’ll be completely senile!
Hi Allison – I find that there’s a direct correlation between my memory and the amount of sleep I’m getting. Now that my baby is sleeping long hours, my brain seems to be on the rebound. (Of course, I still manage to stay up way too late for no reason at all, so I suppose I have no one to blame but myself for the holes in my memory!)
.-= Kristen @ Motherese´s last blog ..Memory is a Muscle =-.
@Kristen @ Motherese, I think you are right, the days I get up early or stay up late (or both!) are my worst memory days. If only I could convince myself to step away from the computer and go to bed. Not likely to happen though.
I totally identify. I feel like losing some of my intellectual capability has been one of the greatest sacrifices of motherhood…. but it’s all worthwhile, right? I mean, we’ve gotta be building some new, super mommy brain cells with all the stuff we’re learning to juggle. I’m a SAHM mom, too and it sounds like our kids are about the same age. I don’t know if it gets better or not, but I’m desperately hoping!
@Anonymous Mommy, I like the way you think, building super mommy brain cells. Hmmmm, I need to think of a way to put these to use, other than being able to change a diaper, while talking on the phone, cooking dinner and blogging at the same time.
I’m sorry, what were we talking about?
.-= Natalie´s last blog ..five for ten: happiness =-.
@Natalie, LOL. Totally.
Ah yes. Momnesia. Without a doubt I get my bags in the car, come back for the kids, put myself in the seat, close the door, open the door, go back in the house, run up the stairs, grab the thing I forgot, go back to the car, get in the seat, shut the door, open the door, go back in the house, grab the keys and leave.
Every damn day. Without fail.
I hate it.
.-= Sarah´s last blog ..Lust for Lust =-.
It is so NOT just you. I can barely remember to breath, dress, and feed myself some days.
.-= Charlotte´s last blog ..That fickle thing called Memory =-.
@Charlotte, With all of your kids, I can see why. Your brain must be pretty much mush by now.
@Allison, Mush is putting it lightly!
.-= Charlotte´s last blog ..That fickle thing called Memory =-.