I’m sitting here, staring at the computer screen, waiting for the kiddo and Dad-oo to return home. I’m waiting for my weekend of solitude to end. And for life to resume again.
This weekend I was blessed to have 2.5 entire days to myself. No plans, other than a hair cut/color and massage. No place I had to be. No one I had to see. Nothing that I had to do.
I know, it’s a dream come true. And it’s not the first time that it’s happened.
I spent most of the time by myself. In fact, the only time I saw other people was when I was out shopping. But that doesn’t really count, since I didn’t know these any of these people. I did attempt to make plans with a long-time friend that I hardly see, but I never heard back. I’m guessing that she just has her hands full right now.
I love time alone. I’m not really a people person. Wait, let me explain. I like people, really I do. I just don’t need to be surrounded by them all of the time. In fact, too much people time leaves me stressed and overwhelmed.
But this many days in a row has left me a little down. There was no one to chat with. No one to tell about the crazy conversations happening on Twitter. No one to cook for (there’s no way I’m making a meal just for myself). No one to share a bottle of wine with. No one to just vegg on the couch with. Or to pull me away from my computer and force me to vegg.
What was there? A lot of silence. Even with music playing or with the TV on, something was missing. The pitter-patter of little feet. Tiny hands pulling on me. Constant requests. Never ending books to read. Meals to prepare, which are hardly touched by a finicky toddler.
Being alone, I started to feel, almost useless. Yes, the dogs need me to feed, water and let them outside. But it’s not the same. They don’t need me. Not like the kiddo does. Not like Dad-oo does. Not like I need the kiddo and Dad-oo.
As Saturday was coming to a close, Grandma called so the kiddo could say good-night. He’s often shy when it comes to talking on the phone, so I wasn’t expecting much. But we chatted, he filled me in on his day with Grandma and Grandpa (with Grandma translating in the background). And then, just before he hung up, he said, “Love you Momma”. That broke me. Melted my heart. It’s nearly impossible to get him to say it any other day. He’s 2 and sassy. But he said it that night. Over the phone.
I need these people. The kiddo. Dad-oo. They make me whole. And as cliche as it is, they make me complete. They make my life complete.
The next time the opportunity for some time alone comes up, I’ll jump at it. The time was refreshing and reminded me of who I am other than a momma. But while I’m going through my hours/days, pieces of me will be missing. I’m grateful for that. I’m grateful for these pieces of my life that have changed me, helped me grow and made me into the woman that I am today.
So, what exactly did I do with my time?
- Connected with some of my fave tweeps.
- Ordered Chinese food. It’s been a while. How I miss you crab rangoon.
- Opened a bottle of fine red wine. And by fine I mean the 3 for $9 kind.
- Exercised for almost 1.5 hours. Which I know sounds like torture, but for me it was wonderful.
- Took a long, slow shower, including shaving my legs.
- Indulged in a massage, which was relaxing, left me feeling sticky and oily. I think she may have used too much oil. And she massaged my face and head. Not a fan.
- Went shopping! And managed to spend barely money. Why is it that I can never find what I want when I have the time to look?
- Scored a salt grinder and Popsicle mold at a discount kitchen store.
- Slept late. 10:30 late. That was over 10 hours of sleep. I may never recover.
- Did yoga, cleaned house, did yard work, took the dogs on an hour long walk. Waited patiently for everyone to return home. That was just on Sunday.
What did I miss the most?
- Snuggles in the morning.
- Lazy breakfasts.
- Toddler belly laughs at the oddest things.
- Giant bear hugs from little arms.
- Constant chatter from a tiny voice.
What did I NOT miss?
- The whining. Oh the whining.
- Daily battles over meals.
- The slowest moving toddler on earth getting into the car.
- The stubbornness (yes, I know that he gets this from me, OK?).
- Constant chatter from a tiny voice.
Have you had an extended period of time away from the kid(s) what did you do? What did you miss most? And what did you not miss at all?
This post is linked to Top Ten Tuesday over at Oh Amanda.
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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Sounds just perfect! Just enough alone time to rejuvenate, and then to miss your guys. I’m like you – I really love alone time, but then I reach a point where I’ve had enough. And this is perfect: you’re reminded how much you love your family, even though it’s a lot of work and sleep deprivation and lack of privacy.
.-= Eva @ Eva Evolving´s last blog ..“I Don’t Care!” Post-Mortem =-.
@Eva @ Eva Evolving, Well said! Especially the lack of privacy part.
Good for you for reflecting on your time. It’s the constant push-pull of motherhood. Time to ourself is always needed, important, and yet we usually spend it worrying about and missing them. Next week I’m travelling for a week for work, alone. I’m excited at the idea of enjoying a quiet hotel room to myself, without any obligations beyond writing and reading for the evenings. But I’ll miss them desperately.
One things is for sure, absence makes the heart grow fonder!
@Christine LaRocque, Have fun on your week away! I hope that you do have tons of down time, and not too much time spent working.
I’ve never had extended periods of it, but I often long for a little time alone. Whenever I get a little time though, I feel lost and don’t know what to do with myself. I’m glad you enjoyed your “Me time” and equally enjoyed reuniting with your family.
.-= Kristin´s last blog ..You Know You’re a Mom When… =-.
@Kristin, I know what you mean. Most of the time my alone time is spent cleaning, organizing, etc. I don’t think that really counts though.
I’m so glad you got to have this time to yourself.
I went away for a weekend last summer and had a lot of the same feelings you experienced. If only we could get one day to ourselves each week – then we could indulge ourselves without missing our families too much! (Keep dreaming, right?)
.-= Kristen @ Motherese´s last blog ..Life After Yes, Chapters 23-33 =-.
@Kristen @ Motherese, That would be prefect wouldn’t it! Ahhh, dreams.
I love that “constant chatter from a tiny voice” made both the missed and not missed list. So true!
.-= SpitFire´s last blog ..Top Ten {Tuesday}: Ten Quirky Things About Me =-.
i don’t even know what to do anymore when Libbie isn’t following me around, constantly whining and nagging! My husband and I left her with his parents for 2 days and it was SO WEIRD. I was missing those tiny kisses and “Ma-ee”s.
I was always itching for alone time, and then when I had it, I only enjoy it for a few hours! Being a single mom when Adam lived here was definitely no fun, despite all the quiet nights!
.-= Vanderbilt Wife´s last blog .."Home is a place in the mind" =-.
@Vanderbilt Wife, It’s funny how we long for the quiet and then miss the noise isn’t it?
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