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Last weekend, after 3 weeks of single parenting, I was exhausted. But more than that I was empty. I had given all of myself to caring for my son alone (with some much needed and much appreciated help from family and friends), caring for the house, wrangling the dogs and everything else that comes with the territory.
I was empty. Weakened. Depleted. Depressed.
I need refueling. I needed to be filled. I needed to be loved. I needed to be uplifted. And I found all of these things in my husband.
On the night he returned home, weary from traveling with delays. Weary from being away from home for almost three solid weeks. Cautious, knowing that he was coming home to a wife on the edge of a meltdown.
And yet…
He put aside HIS needs, and sat with ME. We talked. I shared my fears, worries and the {sometimes} irrational self-conscious thoughts that had been clouding my mind for way to long. I emptied myself of everything that had been weighing me down. I cried. Sobbed actually. I confessed things I had never had the courage to admit before. We stayed up late talking, bonding and growing together.
Like a new couple, eager to absorb everything about each other.
And then…
I began to heal. All of the emptiness within me slowly filled. I felt whole. I felt uplifted. I felt joy in my life. In my family. And even in myself. Joy in this moment, not some distant joy, which may or may not come.
I feel whole.
My hubby gave me what I needed, when I had nothing left to give. He filled my life with joy when I all I could see was the negative.
This post is part of SOYJOY‘s What brings you joy contest. Learn more here.
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What brings you joy?
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This post is proudly linked up with Finer Things Friday, Give Me Your Best Shot, !!!, !!! (again), Photo Story Friday and the Bigger Picture (hosted by Melissa this week).
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{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh, I know too well the feeling “wife on the edge of a meltdown”. Very nicely put!
The key in a couple, in a family, is the support. You ARE a team. And Alli, as much as it might have been painful for the past three weeks, you’ve definitely proven to yourself that you have a true partner you can rely on.
So, I will close with: ENJOY
That’s for sure. He’s such so supportive. That’s why I love him.
Beautiful joyful post! You are so lucky to have a man who can put you first when you need him most. I think it’s hard for many husbands to realize that being home is more taxing than being at work most days… I’m glad you have one who does get it!
He does get it, once I actually tell him. Most days I keep in bottled up until I melt down. But after last weekend, I’m learning to be more open so I don’t completely lose it. He’s so good for putting up with me.
Such a beautiful post
I really really admire your honesty. If I had to do what you did I would have been crying a lot more! And I have to tell you that seeing you frequently during that time you always had such grace. I am glad Mike is home and you guys can spend more time together. Mike sounds like a great guy!
Oh, thank you Jen! The days are pretty easy, it’s the nights that get hard. Tired momma and a tired boy results in power struggles and tantrums. Not always mine either.
He is a wonderful, wonderful guy!
what a great joyful post.
mine is Here: http://www.whosays8isenough.net/2010/08/joy.html
I know all too well how hard it is to be apart from your husband for long periods of time and totally understand how great it feels to be together again.
It kind of feels like you are dating again, doesn’t it? The flutters, remembering how to live together again. In a way, it’s a good way to refresh the relationship, you know?
Having a hubby like that is certainly a great reason to be joyful! Glad he’s home and cuddling on the couch with you
What a great guy you have! To step outside the “I work all day so you can spend my paycheck” frame of mind and realize that its tuff the be secluded in the roll of servant to all others and that it is a gig that pays little. Good for you!
Pays little! What kind of pay are you talking about? Well, other than toddler hugs and kisses. Those are pretty awesome.
Thanks for sharing this. I have never had to deal with my husband being away for more than 2 nights. I know I would be physically and emotionally drained from going it alone. So glad that your husband was there for you when you got home and you were able to spend time talking and bonding. It’s so important, sometimes being apart makes you truly grateful for what you’ve got.
Being apart really has made me grateful for him. Even when I’m frustrated, I just remind myself what it’s like to be without him. Somehow those frustrations don’t seem to matter as much anymore.
My husband has traveled a lot during our marriage, but this year since last November he has been out of state or the country 90% of the time. You expressed exactly what I felt – for someone reason, it was this year that I really felt that way. Maybe it’s having teenagers who really need a man at this time, who challenge in a less than warm, fuzzy way. Even watching movies without him is dull. I miss his responses. I guess that shows that when we get married, we truly do become one – and feel so imcomplete without them! If I were to give out an award for Post of the Week – I would give it to you:)
Thank you for your wonderful, personal comment!
I can’t imagine having a husband gone that much. Is it hard to adjust when he’s home again?
This is a very sweet and honest post. What brings me joy? Exactly what you said…connecting deeply with someone else.
I’m glad that I found you! Yay for Twitter.
I can’t imagine life without connecting. To a husband, wife, significant other and BFF’s. It would be so empty.
Twitter is pretty awesome isn’t it!
He sounds like a wonderful man! I am so glad he fills your life with joy. Joy is always a beautiful thing.
fantastic, glad that you are feeling whole and that you could find what you need in the best possible place — your husband.
And there it is: the reason we choose to share our life with another. To be picked up when we are put down. To find strength in the togetherness. And release in the comfort of the bond.
I’m so glad he was there for you when you needed him to be. Bravo!
Exactly! I couldn’t have said it any better myself. You have a wonderful way with words. Seriously.
He SOunds like a keeper.
Oh, girl. Three weeks… that is tough! I can’t fathom the people who do it for months on end. Single parenting is definitely NOT something I’m cut out for! So glad you are feeling refreshed and renewed.
I know, after these weeks I have a renewed respect for single parents. I just can’t image how they do it. Other than they don’t have a choice, so they just make it work.
I loved this post. I love those moments in marriage when you get exactly what you need from your spouse- joyful, for sure.
Thanks lady! It really goes to show why we fell in love and got married in the first place.
Oh Alli! I’m so glad, so so glad you had that time, and that you were able to use it in the way you needed. And that he recognized your need and let you unload. That’s why we have partners to share in the good and the bad. You did an amazing job with this post. It really moved me. And I’m happy you’ve come around the bend. Here’s to lots of brighter days ahead.
Oh Christine, I’m so happy to hear that my post touched you so much. Really, that means a lot to me.
I could feel your peace and joy just reading this. Thank you for sharing something so personal…and powerful. I hope you guys had a great weekend.
Yay for being back together. The way it was meant to be.
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