As we were driving home from church on Christmas Eve I was suddenly struck by sadness. We were heading home to an empty {although overflowing} house. Just the three of us and the dogs. No additional family to fill up our home and our hearts. We had left some earlier in the day and others we saw over a week ago.
But this is the way we {okay, I} wanted it.
We arrived home and ate a small dinner. Enjoyed a Christmas movie {old school Rudolph} and tucked in the kiddo for the night. Hubs and I spent the remainder of the evening watching a movie and I went to bed early. Tired. Just tired from the week’s festivities.
Honestly, I was feeling a little empty inside too. Second guessing our {okay, my} decision to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day as just the three of us. I was worried that the day would seem a little hollow, when it should be filled with wonder and joy.
When the house awoke the next morning there was excitement in the air. And the feeling lasted the whole day through. We filled the day to overflowing with activities for just the three of us. Sledding being the highlight, after gift opening that is.
Later in the evening as we were driving around looking at the giant houses decorated to the nines, I peered into some of the windows with light spilling out. In some I saw families gathered together, heads bowed over prayer. In others people were eating. A few families were cleaning up after a huge meal. Their houses were filled with light and family. Love and hope. The homes were overflowing.
Again, deep inside I felt a twang that we {okay, I} made the wrong decision.
I had flash backs of Christmases as a child. Our home filled with grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. Driving from house to house so we could see everyone in on day. It was simpler then. Everyone lived near each other. Now our families are scattered across the state {which is nothing for families that are scattered across the country or world}. It’s impossible to see everyone in one day, or even one week. Life is better and the holidays are happier if we spread the celebration out a little. Take some of the pressure off and concentrate more on just being together.
We filled Christmas day with so many activities, it flew by. Nothing was missing. In fact, it felt fuller than it has in previous years. We had already filled our hearts with family the previous week. All that was left was filling our hearts with each other.
I’m eternally thankful to our families who understand our need to have some Christmas time just to ourselves. I’m blessed with family that hasn’t questioned our decision to stay at home on Christmas Eve and Christmas day. Honestly I don’t understand families who put up a fuss about seeing everyone on a specific day. Christmas and the holiday season are about being together, even if it isn’t exactly on Christmas Day. I guess that some traditions are just hard to give up.
I realized that the feelings of regret I had wasn’t about not being with everyone on Christmas day. It was simply missing life as a child. Of the wonder that Christmas brings. But now I get to experience it all over again, this time through the eyes of my child. Which in so many ways is better.
So, here’s to new family traditions. The simpler, the more enjoyable.
Do you have any family traditions for Christmas and the holidays?
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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
New family traditions are a good thing! I am glad you ended up enjoying your time. I love old school Rudolph too. It really does bring back childhood memories.
Hugs to you!
We are working on creating our own holiday traditions too. I’m still feeling like mine are just fill-ins for the “real” ones I celebrated as a kid. Hoping The Dudes don’t see them that way! Good for you for keeping it simple and enjoying it so!
I know how you feel, making new family traditions are important… especially when extended family are spread around. My husband, son and I live in Germany with one set of Grandparents in the States and another in England. One day we’ll all manage to get together for Christmas but until then there’s just the three of us. It brings a tinge of sadness sometimes, but we know our extended family send their love. On the plus side there’s nowhere near so much work to do for Christmas with only 3 people!
My parent’s have decided the last few years that they will go to a cousins house instead of coming to my house with the kids. Even though I know it is happening, it still makes me very sad that day when we’re having a very little dinner party of just us. I wish my parents would rather spend time with the grandkids but my new tradition is us
I really enjoyed reading this post! I think we all have a right to make our own traditions and sometimes we might have to try out a couple of them until we find the ones that fit our families. We (I) decided to stay home for New Year’s Eve this year and I keep wondering if we (I’ll) regret it during the countdown to midnight when we are hanging out at home in our pjs. So we try it this year, and if we don’t like it we’ll do something different next year!
We’re still discovering our own family traditions, since my husband and I’ve been married a little over two years and our son, Jacob, is only 20mos… so this is really only our second holiday as a ‘family’ (with parents and a child) and we’re still feeling our way around.
But we know we don’t want to do the traditional ‘consumer-driven’ holidays. We’re breaking away from that tradition, post-haste.
I guess we all have to find our own paths, huh? Can’t just do what our family has always done… because that’s not us.
Gosh, what a post. I felt the same way this year…When you grow up and have families of your own it just seems normal to spend that special time with “your” little family. Christmas Eve was a little lonely but we did enjoy so much our Christmas morning and the rest of the day!
Love the pictures you posted. Looks like you guys had a great one!
happy new year!
Love the vintage touch!
I so totally agree! I miss the get-togethers we had during my childhood! Although I WAS surrounded by family this year, I was at my Mothers where my cousin in the Navy flew down from California to visit and my sister cam from Louisville to spend the day. But as a kid my Pappaw always held the get-togethers in his tiny little house, and that was the best, the tiny-er the better, we HAD to be smushed into each other, talking-laughing-playing and some kids even fighting. But it was fun…there was NEVER a dull moment. I miss a lot of people that I used to see…but I have my own family now and we’re making our OWN traditions as you and yours! It’s just adjusting I guess. I hope you have a great new year and I love your shots and your edit you used!!
What gorgeous pictures!! I miss my big family gatherings on Christmas Eve. That’s what Christmas Eve was for me as a kid. But now that we are so far away from my family, those big gatherings are no more. Luckily, we’ve been able to spend the last two Christmases with my in laws. While they are not the “big family gatherings” like I had as a kid, they are lots of fun. In a different way!