Grumpy, Over-Tired Eli and Sleep Deprived Dad-oo

For the first time in I don’t know how long, Eli didn’t sleep through the night. Oh man, I can’t tell you how hard it is to go from a full nights sleep (Eli will sleep on average 10-13 hours a night) to broken sleep. Dad-oo was especially grumpy this morning. Until the coffee kicked in that is.

We’re exactly sure what happened, but here’s the story, maybe someone can help us figure it out. Eli went to be around 9, which is a little late for him, but Aunt Lindsey, Uncle Lick Nick and Baby Evie were in town for a visit, so we extended his bedtime. We made a bet on the ride home from Grams’ house whether or not Eli would fall asleep. I am happy to inform you that I won the bet (Eli didn’t fall asleep) and now Dad-oo owes me a sugary coffee from Biggby Coffee. I have to admit, I didn’t really play fair, as I kept taking and singing to Eli all the way home. And we made it just in time. As Dad-oo s-l-o-w-l-y drove down the path to our house, Eli’s eyes were just starting to close. We were about 2 seconds from him falling asleep. I WIN!

Anyway, a quick brusha-brusha complete with the brusha song (which Dad-oo has informed me sounds very much like Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel from South Park), hugs, kisses, and I love you, Eli is off to bed. He fell asleep like any other night, a few tears, then talks to his animals until he falls asleep. And then…it happened.

Around 10:30, Eli wakes up crying. We give him a few minutes to calm down and fall asleep, as is our routine. 15 minutes later, he’s still crying. And saying “ow” and “Momma”. Thinking that his leg is sore from all of the rolling and crawling that he did at Grams’ house, and because he managed to stand up on it once, I went in armed with Motrin. I picked him, he immediately snuggled in, then slurped down the Motrin. I walked, bounced and shushed him for a  few minutes, just like in the olden days. Then went to lay him down again. Instant tears, screaming and “ow”. I scooped him back up again and settled in to rock him to sleep. Something I haven’t done it months. And I’m not ashamed to say that I kind of liked it. I miss snuggling with my baby.

A few minutes later, Eli was on his way to sleepy land, but he couldn’t get comfortable, so I went to lay him down again. The same madness started, only this time I was on to him. Let’s recap. Eli cries in his crib, is silent when in momma’s arms, cries in his crib and is silent in momma’s arms. Yup, I’m on to you little one. Now it’s time for you to put yourself to sleep. So I leave my crying toddler, with an aching heart.

Within 5 minutes he’s crying had settled, with a few outbursts here and there, and some asleep withing 15 minutes. We’ve gone through this before, a few months ago, so I know what to expect. Back then Eli tricked us for a few days into thinking that he just wasn’t tired, that he was teething or that something else was wrong. Turned out that he just wanted his momma, and wanted to see how far he could push our boundaries.

I wish I could say that the rest of our night went smoothly. Unfortunately we had a few more crying spells in during the night. The first time he did put himself back to sleep. I barley even remember that time, Dad-oo had to remind me about it in the morning. The second one lasted for at least 1.5 hours (Dad-oo swears that it was 3 hours, but I think he’s exaggerating in his sleep deprivation).When Eli didn’t calm himself down, and actually he seemed to work himself up even more, I went to check on him. Unsure what to do, it’s our policy to not pick him up in the middle of the night unless something is wrong, I stood over his crib, trying to lull him back to sleep. Dad-oo joined me, and gave me to OK to pick him. Instantly Eli was quite. All right little man, you tricked me again. If something was seriously wrong, being picked up would not have stopped the crying. Maybe he had a nightmare, maybe he woke up and just wanted some reassurance that we were still there. It’s so hard to know. So, I put him back in his crib, told him that it was still bedtime and that we loved him, and off I went, hoping that he would calm down.

And he did. Then he started crying again. Then sudden quite, which freaked me out a little and I said to Dad-oo, I almost wish he would whine or something, just so I know he’s OK. And then, crying (There’s your whine said Dad-oo). Lather, rinse and repeat for another 1 hour. I’m not sure what time Eli finally fell asleep, I eventually dozed off after one of his crying spells (which really only lasted for about 5 minutes each time).

I guess the point to this post is that even thought it’s tough, we knew that we had to let Eli calm himself down and fall asleep on his own. We’ve been doing this since he was about 4.5 months old. And it worked for us. If it hadn’t, we would have moved on to something new. Not everyone agrees with this method, and I don’t want to argue over which is the best way to handle this type of situation. We’re not abandoning or ignoring him. If his crying gets louder or doesn’t settle down after 10 or so minutes, we go and check on him, tell him we love him if everything is OK, then head back to bed. Usually that is the end of it. With the rare exception of nights like last night, and it seems that tonight is shaping up to be the same way, Eli sleeps wonderfully. And if he doesn’t sleep well, we stick to our “policy” as best as we can, but obviously forgoing it if something is wrong.

In my 18 months of being a parent, I found that one of the hardest parts is doing what’s best for your child and your family and not letting others make you feel guilty or judge you for how you are raising your kid(s). Everyone’s situation is different and the same methods don’t work for every kiddo. But it’s also important to realize that sometimes it’s really, really, super incredibly hard to do what is right, or to try something new (such as letting your baby cry or talk herself to sleep) when your heart is breaking and you want to sprint to her room, pick her up and rock her to sleep. I think that most of the time, tough love is toughest on the Momma’s.

Rough Night is a post from: Alli 'n Son

Sick Eli

I don’t know if it’s because Eli was sick, if he’s just hitting that stage or if he just had a bad case of the crabby pants, but man on man, did he have some whopper tantrums today! I admit, we’ve had it pretty easy so far, Eli was a great baby, he wasn’t colicky, he started sleeping 6-8 hours around 8 weeks old, he’s a quick learner and a good eater (other than veggies that is), so this new turn of events is kind of taking us by surprise. What happened to my sweet little boy!

Sure, I knew it was coming, the dreaded terrible two’s. I’ve been warned by several people that it usually starts earlier, around 18 months. Eli is of course right on time. What I’ve found difficult is trying to figure out how to deal with it. Do we ignore him until he calms down? Do we give in and pick him up? Do I close my eyes, sprinkle [amazonify]B001GPBPJI::text::::magic fairy dust[/amazonify] and hope that it makes the crabby pants disappear? Decisions, decisions, decisions.

So far, I’ve tried ignoring the tantrum. I stand patiently by, reasoning with my toddler by calmly telling him that he needs to calm down before I will pick him up. And then I wait. And wait. And wait. It feels like at least 30 minutes have passed, but a quick glance at the clock tells me it’s only been 4 minutes. Oh man, how long am I supposed to wait? So I give it another few minutes and without warning, Eli has reached the point of no return. There’s no possible way that he can calm himself down now. But before I even have a chance to comfort him, it happens. He’s so worked up, crying so hard, that he throws up all over the kitchen floor. And then the pugs come running, wanting the special treat. So I close my eyes, sprinkle the [amazonify]B001GPBPJI::text::::fairy dust[/amazonify] and then run to keep the pugs out of the kitchen, because it didn’t work. Damn fairies.

Unless Eli reaches the point of no return, I don’t give in. I’m getting better at figuring out when he’s spiraling downward and can’t pull himself out of it. Then I’ll sit on the floor next to him, rub his back and tell him softly that I need him to calm down. And little by little, he will. Once he’s under control, I will then give him want he wanted, usually to be picked up by Momma, some [amazonify]B0014ET24G::text::::juice[/amazonify] and/or [amazonify]B000F9Z20E::text::::crackers[/amazonify].

But is that the right way to handle it? Is there a right way to handle it? I have no idea, I’m making this up as I go along! I’m sure that by the time kiddo #2 comes along, I’ll have it all figured out and the terrible two’s will be a breeze. But until then, I’ll just hang in there, and hope that I find the right fairy dust to make these tantrums go away. Or at least some yummy [amazonify]B0028KA0TQ::text::::chocolate[/amazonify] to make life a little sweeter.

[amazonify]B0028KA0TQ[/amazonify]

It's started…the tantrums is a post from: Alli 'n Son

Crabby-Pants Eli

Eli: 0
Couch: 1

Eli is not the most graceful little boy by any means. Only a daily basis he has been known to trip over his toes, fall over rugs, and get hopelessly tangled up in his own legs. I think that any sort of dancing is out the question for his future. But the other day, Eli took a spill that sent chills up my spine and the phrase “bad momma” running through my head.

There we were, folding laundry and playing on the couch. I’ll let you figure out who was doing what. Dad-oo had run to fill the car up with gas for our afternoon trip to see family and pick up some eggs so I could finish baking the lemon bars I was bringing. I had just set down a pair of freshly washed jeans when suddenly, Eli who was playing on the couch behind me, is on the floor. Crying. No, screaming. And he landed on his head. This is not the kind of fall that he can just “brush off.” I scoop him up, cuddle him close, and walk through the house whispering “you’re OK” over and over, secretly hoping that he is actually OK. There isn’t a bump, no blood or other signs of a serious injury. And he calmed down after a few minutes of crying, then started saying “Couch, ouch!”. He’s going to be OK. But am I?

I hate when things like this happen. The Mommy Guilt sets in, and I start to question my skills as a parent. I should have been paying more attention, but I was distracted by the laundry and recovering from my 6 mile run that morning. I should have been playing with him instead of doing chores. I should keep my eye on him every second of every day and this kind of thing wouldn’t happen. If I was a good mother I would never let him out of my site. If I was a perfect mother, he would never get injured. Oh, if only I was perfect.

But I know deep down that it isn’t realistic, or healthy for me or Eli, to strive to be a perfect momma. Can you imagine how Eli would grow up with his momma behind him every step of the way? Can you imagine the shock to his system when he went to school and momma wasn’t there to stop him from scraping up his knees on the playground? To stop the older kids from picking on him? Bumps, scrapes and bruises are just part of growing up, and as much as I hate it, Eli is going to get his fair share of them. So for now, I’m putting aside my goals of being a perfect momma, and I’ll just do the best that I can. There will be tears and tantrums, falls and head bonks. There may even be a golf club to the head by a sibling, not that anything like that has ever happened in my family before.

Note: the photo of Eli crying was NOT taken at the time of the fall. It was one that Dad-oo took a few days earlier.

Eli versus the Couch is a post from: Alli 'n Son

7 Month Old Eli During Bath Time

After a long day at work and a quick workout at the Y, I rushed home to see Eli for for first time since this morning. But instead of the heart-melting, smiling face rushing to greet me at the door, I’m welcomed home with tears. Not just tears, but over-the-top, uncontrollable toddler tears. And there’s Grams, with a bewildered, get-me-otta-here look on her face.

As sometimes happens, Eli falls asleep at the inconvenient time of 6:00. It’s too late for a nap, but too early for bed. After an early morning with Momma, much playing a running at daycare, and a Dad-oo on the road, Eli has just about had enough, and needs a little catnap. Which would be fine, but when he wakes up from this catnap, out comes Crabby Pants and the tears.

After trying the usual happiness-inducing tricks, “Eli, look at the puppies!”, Hippo, graham crackers, juice, and yes, even chocolate, I threw my hands up in the air, and decided that it was bath time. Hoping, with tears in my own eyes, that it would create enough of a distraction to pull Eli out of his downward spiral into Crabby Pants USA.

The rushing water, rubber ducky, baby wash and two crazy pugs running around in a frenzy were enough to grab Eli’s attention, and stop the tears. And then, suddenly everything falls into place. The water is ready. The toys have all been tossed into the water. There are bubbles floating in the water. The toddler is naked. And happy. HE’S HAPPY!!!! I have reclaimed my easy-going, happy-most-of-the-time child.

It’s amazing how some so simploy-brilliant can take a Crabby Pants toddler and turn him in to the sweetest little boy in the world. We went on to have a fantastic night, a great dinner (he even tried some corn!!!) and a painless bedtime. Thank you bath time, you saved the night.

The Magic of Bath Time is a post from: Alli 'n Son