Last week, on a whim, I decided that now was the right time to start potty training. Not two weekends from now, which we had planned. Sensibly, since our weekends are booked until then. Oh no, I decided that we had to do it now. NOW.

I have no idea why.

While things were going very well in the beginning, so well in fact that I was worried about the kiddo’s teeth rotting out of his head because of all of the candy he’s “earning”. But we did have one, ummm, blooper. It’s just too funny not to share.

Flashback to last week Thursday, day one of the official start of potty training. It’s the end of the day, we’re winding down (which means the kiddo is racing from room to room in the house). Dad-oo and I are cleaning up from a late dinner.

The kiddo buzzes in from his bedroom and proclaims “I POOPED!” Which isn’t usually a cause for alarm.

Except this time he was neked from the waste down.

I’ll spare you the gory details, but in the events that followed one of the dogs managed to make off with a nice little turd. And he proceeded to eat it. TO EAT IT!

I know, I threw up in my mouth a little bit too.

Now, since I’m obviously an expert on potty training (bwahahahhahahahhah), here’s what I’ve learned so far.

1. Bribe, bribe and super bribe. Every time the kiddo goes pee on the potty he gets a jelly bean. Every time he goes poop, he gets chocolate.
2. I’m not to proud to beg. If you hear a crazy woman in the stall next to you begging her son to pee so she can give him candy, you can bet that it’s me.
3. There’s no shame in super-liquefying. The more the kiddo has to pee, to more chances for success. Or…
4. Expect that there will be accidents. On the floor. The rug. The wall. Just make sure to hide the electronics.
5. Accept the fact that there will be a LOT of nudity. Not the fun kind, but at least the dimpled butt running around is cute.
6. A potty success chart is a necessity. Or so I’ve been told. I haven’t actually gotten around to making one yet. I mentioned bribing with candy, right?
7. As Dad-oo describes it, this has turned into a wiener-self-discovery journey. Yes, the kiddo has learned more about his “favorite parts” than a 2 year should really know.
8. It’s fun to pee in stores. Target for instance, where we roughly spend half of our time each week. Who doesn’t love that store?
9. The amount of TV time increases exponentially relative to the amount of liquid. But it helps reduce unwanted accidents, so it’s worth a little extra boob-tube time.
10. Have you been through the potty trenches? What did you learn?

You can expect more stories as we dig out way through the trenches. Hopefully we will all make it out alive on the other side.

This post is linked up with Oh Amanda’s Top Ten Tuesday.

This post is proudly linked up to Mondays: Mouthwatering Mondays, Made By You Monday, Mingle Monday, The Girl Creative Tuesdays: Tuesdays and the Table, Tempt My Tummy Tuesday, Tasty Tuesday, It's a Blog Party, Tip Junkie, Get Your Craft On Wednesdays: Show and Tell, Works for Me Wednesday, This Chick Cooks Thursdays: It's a Keeper Thursdays, Strut Your Stuff, Full Plate Thursdays, Chic & Crafty Party, Transformation Thursday Fridays: I'm Loving It, Foodie Friday, Simply Designing, Show and Tell Friday Saturdays: Sweets for a Saturday, Positively Splendid, Saturday Nite Special Sundays: Nifty Thrifty Sunday, Sundae Scoop Party

Deep in the Potty Trenches is a post from: Alli 'n Son

Dad-oo is making yet another guest post appearance today. He’s talking about his speciality: the Birthday Pancake-Cake.

Eli’s second birthday was last week and even though he had two other full days to get spoiled rotten and filled with sugary garbage I (Dad-oo) felt that if he didn’t consume some sort of cake-like creation on his birthday the world would implode.

Nerd Note: There was a good chance the world would implode anyway.  The mad scientists over at Cern decided to reactivate their doomsday device  on the 30th as well.  Coincidence?  Probably not. Oh, if you don’t know Cern, they are the group responsible for creating the Large Hadron Ion Collider (LHC), the machine many thought would turn the Earth into a black hole when activated.  You may have heard about it in the news; if not I’m probably boring you with science stuff so I’ll get back to the Pancake Cake.  If you don’t know if the LHC turned our planet into a black hole check out www.HasTheLHCDestroyedTheEarth.com.

Getting back to the point I, the proud creator of the Pancake-Cake, again utilized my culinary skills to cook and assemble a dessert that Eli would very much appreciate and NOT just mush up into unrecognizable fistfuls of  sugary clumps and jam into his mouth.

A quick refresher course in Pancakecakeology (that was subject of my college term paper):

1. Mix and cook some delicious fluffy pancakes.
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2. Layer the pancakes and put jelly in between each layer.  I used strawberry jelly and three pancakes.  Last year I used two pancakes.  I plan on using one more pancake every year so his 40th birthday should be LEGENDARY.
3. Make sure the edges match somewhat for easier frosting.
4. Frost the bajeezus out of it.  I used both chocolate and vanilla frosting.
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5. I ended up making Eli a Zen Pancake-Cake because Eli is so into calm meditation and self reflection.
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6. We presented the Pancake-Cake to Eli
7. He fully appreciated the hard work and creativity that went into…ok, he mushed it up into unrecognizable fistfuls of  sugary clumps and jammed it into his mouth.
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Pancake-Cake

3-5 pancakes, using your favorite pancake recipe (or this Whole-Grain Oatmeal Blueberry recipe would be great too)
Strawberry, raspberry, grape or your favorite jam
White and chocolate frosting (from the can is fine, or try perhaps this recipe for The Best Frosting I’ve Ever Had)
Sprinkles – optional

Cook 3-5 pancakes, approximately 4″ round, according to the recipe. Place one pancake on a plate, spread with the jam of your choice. Repeat layers with the remaining pancakes. Once the cake has been assembled, cover with frosting. Decorate as you wish (sprinkles are a nice addition).

Finally, present to the not-so-patiently waiting birthday boy or girl. Watch their eyes light up as their face is instantly covered in frosting goodness.

This recipe is part of the Mouthwatering Monday Blog Carnival over at A Southern Fairytale. Stop by for more mouthwatering recipes.

The Second Anniversary of The Pancake-Cake (by Dad-oo) is a post from: Alli 'n Son

Just had to share this video with you, that @KidDictionary from TheKidDictionary.com share with me on Twitter today. I was looking for a distraction (hey, it’s Friday, I don’t have to be productive if I don’t wanna). It made me giggle. Yupping is a daily occurrence in my life.

Don’t forget that I’m sharing my story over at NaturallyKnockedUp.com. Stop by to catch up on the latest in my quest for baby number two.

This post is proudly linked up to Mondays: Mouthwatering Mondays, Made By You Monday, Mingle Monday, The Girl Creative Tuesdays: Tuesdays and the Table, Tempt My Tummy Tuesday, Tasty Tuesday, It's a Blog Party, Tip Junkie, Get Your Craft On Wednesdays: Show and Tell, Works for Me Wednesday, This Chick Cooks Thursdays: It's a Keeper Thursdays, Strut Your Stuff, Full Plate Thursdays, Chic & Crafty Party, Transformation Thursday Fridays: I'm Loving It, Foodie Friday, Simply Designing, Show and Tell Friday Saturdays: Sweets for a Saturday, Positively Splendid, Saturday Nite Special Sundays: Nifty Thrifty Sunday, Sundae Scoop Party

My Booger's Shrink and Other Words from The Kid Dictionary is a post from: Alli 'n Son

In case you missed it, last week I talked about the kiddo and his obsession with balls. Yes, you read that write. He. Loves. Balls. *pause for giggles*

Well, tonight, after a weekend at Gram’s house, so Dad-oo and I could do some work on the house and enjoy a Valentine’s dinner kid-free, we had a bit of a melt down at dinner. You see, I tried to feed him this.

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But he refused to eat it. There were tears, kicking, and requests for different food. Carrots. Milk. Bananas. Blue-BERRIES. And…a big ball “snamwitch”.

Between hand-smothered giggles, okay there were all-out belly laughs, Dad-oo and I came up with a plan. We would make him an official Big Ball “Snamwitch”.

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Yes, that is his pasta, between two pieces of bread.

It worked. For a few minutes.

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Until, without thinking, I pushed back the contents of his Big Ball “Snamwitch” with the fork that still had some pasta on it. Big. Mistake. He refused to eat it.

Instead, the kiddo now wants a basketball “snamwitch”. Which we gladly supplied.

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Little did he know that it was the Big Ball “Snamwitch” with a healthy does of BBQ sauce.

When we picked up the kiddo on Sunday, Grams boasted about how he ate so well with her. What, exactly, was she feeding him?

Check out more Wordful/Wordless Wednesday Posts at 7 Clown Circus and 5MinutesForMom

This post is proudly linked up to Mondays: Mouthwatering Mondays, Made By You Monday, Mingle Monday, The Girl Creative Tuesdays: Tuesdays and the Table, Tempt My Tummy Tuesday, Tasty Tuesday, It's a Blog Party, Tip Junkie, Get Your Craft On Wednesdays: Show and Tell, Works for Me Wednesday, This Chick Cooks Thursdays: It's a Keeper Thursdays, Strut Your Stuff, Full Plate Thursdays, Chic & Crafty Party, Transformation Thursday Fridays: I'm Loving It, Foodie Friday, Simply Designing, Show and Tell Friday Saturdays: Sweets for a Saturday, Positively Splendid, Saturday Nite Special Sundays: Nifty Thrifty Sunday, Sundae Scoop Party

Wordless Wednesday (The Big Ball Sandwich) is a post from: Alli 'n Son

OK, so this didn’t actually happen on Valentine’s Day, but it is such a…errrrr…sweet story that I just had to share.

There I was minding my own business, getting dinner together early last week. The kiddo was running around like a mad man (what else is new), Dad-oo was off kicking some butt at martial arts. I turn around to find the kiddo sitting on the pug’s bed. He has something in his hand.You already know where this is going, don’t you?

“Gar-bage” he says to me. Which usually means it’s a piece of paper, string or pebble that he found on the floor. Wait, scratch that, if it was a pebble, it would be in his mouth. He’d be chewing on it. That sound always sends shiver’s down my back.

And then this happens. He hands me a small piece of dog poop. I had no idea where it came from, and try as we might, I could not find evidence of more poop in the house. But there’s always more, that’s something I’ve learned after 6 years of owning dogs. If there’s one piece, there’s more.

To this day, the remaining poop has eluded me. Although, Later Mom was nice enough to point out that it could always be worse, “At least you didn’t find it on their foot or other, grosser, places.”

How about you? Any romantic, special, poop-tastic Valentine’s Day stories to share?

This post is proudly linked up to Mondays: Mouthwatering Mondays, Made By You Monday, Mingle Monday, The Girl Creative Tuesdays: Tuesdays and the Table, Tempt My Tummy Tuesday, Tasty Tuesday, It's a Blog Party, Tip Junkie, Get Your Craft On Wednesdays: Show and Tell, Works for Me Wednesday, This Chick Cooks Thursdays: It's a Keeper Thursdays, Strut Your Stuff, Full Plate Thursdays, Chic & Crafty Party, Transformation Thursday Fridays: I'm Loving It, Foodie Friday, Simply Designing, Show and Tell Friday Saturdays: Sweets for a Saturday, Positively Splendid, Saturday Nite Special Sundays: Nifty Thrifty Sunday, Sundae Scoop Party

A Sweet Valentine's Day Story is a post from: Alli 'n Son

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It’s no secret that my toddler is a little jabber box. I’m always getting comments about how well he talks and amazement over how many words he knows and how well he can communicate. I’m not trying to brag (OK, maybe just a little), but it’s pretty cool that he’s ahead of the game in this area. One of his favorite phrases is “Fun at Grandma’s (or Grams’) house”. Yay that’s right, my 21 month old son is talking in 4-5 word sentences.

I noticed something the other day that at first made me look at the kiddo in bewilderment. He was talking, but I had no idea what he was saying. He wasn’t really talking to me, just sort of talking. Sometimes to himself or a toy. Somethings to know one (unless he has an imaginary friend already, which would be pretty cool). I’d usually ask him to repeat what he said, which was often meet with a sheepish grin and a “NO!” while running away. Typical little boy behavior.

After a few days of this, I figured it out. The kiddo has invented his own language. He was having conversations with himself, his stuffed animals and, well, the air! I was so proud. I’m mean, he’s obviously brilliant if he can come up with his very own language. Now, if only I was smart enough to understand it. I’m guessing that this is just one of the ways my child will prove to be smarter that I am. I just have to make sure that he doesn’t know it!

A Laugnage of His Own is a post from: Alli 'n Son

It was a busy weekend, with Thanksgiving with multiple families, we have’t been home since Thursday moring. So, I don’t have my act together yet, and Meal Monday is just going to have to wait until next week. I trust that everyone will survive this momentary delay.

Instead, today I’m sharing all of the foods that I feed the kiddo, but would never, ever in a million years touch myself. It’s true that most of these are things that I ate as a kid, and I turned out pretty good, so I’m not too worried about it. Yes, they are highly processed, meats, mil and other animal parts mashed together, full of preservatives and other ingredients that I can’t pronounce and don’t even want to know what they actually are. But you know what, Eli likes them, actually loves them, so in my book they are OK, in smallish quantities. The more that I think about it, this is pretty much the opposite of Meal Monday, since I don’t think that any of these “foods” actually qualify as food.

1. Hot dogs: not the all beef or turkey variety, the miscellaneous animal parts mashed up and glued together with God knows what to resemble plump, sickly colored fingers. Just thinking about it makes me gag a little. I’m actually thinking about switching to the healthier (and I use that term loosely) all beef kind, since Eli eats, on average, 500-600 hot dogs a week.
2. American cheese slices: These aren’t even close to cheese. Believe me, I would know, living in Wisconsin all of my life and having grandparents that owned a cheese store for many years. I know cheese, I love cheese, and I eat it just about every day. And American cheese slices are NOT cheese. They are slippery, sticky, oiling slices of yellow tinted nastiness. And I’m slowly trying to ween Eli off of these, I hate even having to touch them.
3. Fruit snacks. Not the healthy-ish ones made with real fruit juice, the sugar packed, unnaturally brightly colored snacks, shaped like dinos, sharks, and treasure chests. You know, things that you find in nature. Truth be told, I actually LOVE these snacks, probably just as much, if not more, than the kiddo. Between the two of us (sometimes the three of us if Dad-oo is home) we’ll go through 2-3 packs at snack time. And sometimes I’ll sneak on while he’s napping. Or looking the other way.
4. Chicken nuggets: Now, these really aren’t as bad I used to think they are. I haven’t actually looked at the ingredients, but I have tast tested them, and they aren’t too bad. But I still won’t eat them, I just can’t bring myself to do it. Who knows what is bround up in those little golden nuggets. But Eli loves them smothered in ketchup or BBQ sauce. Go figure. At least when I make them at home, they aren’t deep fried in whatever nasty oil they have at most fast-food chains.

A word about Spam. I will never, for the life of me understand Spam. It’s not meat, it’s definitley not a veggie. I’m not sure what it is supposed to be. I’m not even sure that it’s actually supposed to be eaten. But I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever feed it to Eli or any other kid. It just seems like cruel and unusual punishment. Dad-oo swears that he was forced to eat it as a kid (Grandma denies that this ever happened), and will also never eat it. Unless of course he was dared to do it, and money was at stake. Like if he was offered, say, $5.00.

Oh, and this is yet another way that I’ve failed as a wanna be June Cleaver, always making healthy meals from scratch for the kiddo. I wonder what my June Cleaver score is? It’s probably not looking too good.

What foods do you feed your kids that just gross you out? Or what foods did you have to eat as a kid that you will never in your life subject your kids to?

Food I Feed The Kiddo (But Won't Eat Myself) is a post from: Alli 'n Son

I know, we’re getting a little bit ahead of ourselves. The kiddo is only 19 months old after all. But hey, why not give it a shot right?

Last weekend we picked up the cutest Froggy Friend Potty for Eli. We knew that he isn’t really at potty training age, although he is pretty good at telling us when he’s “poot” (or pop corn). It was on sale, so we figured it would be a good time to buy it. Early this week, I set it up in the bathroom so Eli could start getting used to sitting on it. My plan was to read a few books, if he would sit still that long, and then we’d be done. So, right before bath time, I stripped down the kiddo and put him on “froggie” and he was thrilled. We sat and read for about 30 minutes, and then. He pooped! On the big boy potty! I couldn’t believe it. I cheered and hugged him and told him what a good job he did. He was so proud. We’re off to a pretty good start so far.

Since day one went so well, I though I may as well get into the routine of sitting him on the potty every morning. I don’t expect him to be successful every time, but at least this will help him get comfortable with his big boy potty. Day two, he successfully went potty twice! Once in the morning, after 45 minutes or reading stories. I was bored out of my mind, but the kiddo wanted to sit and read, so that’s what we did. Once in the evening. Day three, success in the morning, dry run in the evening. But, he did ask to sit on the potty for the dry run. I couldn’t believe it.

Today was day four. We did the usual in the morning, after breakfast we went to sit on the potty before bath time. 30 minutes later, the kiddo was getting bored, and as I was running the bath water, he of course went potty on the floor. Quick clean up, no books were damaged, although one magazine didn’t make it out alive. But the second try, after lunch was successful. w00t!

In reality, I know that Eli isn’t really on his way to being potty trained. I mean, boys are typically trained until they are 3. Which means I have about 1.5 years to go. It’s going to be a long stretch. But then again, maybe he’ll surprise me and be trained by the time he’s 2. Stranger things have happened right? And I can’t lie, I’m really looking forward to crossing diapers off of our grocery list. A girl can dream I guess.

While I wait for Eli’s final day in diapers, do you have any potty training stories (success and failures of course) or tips to share?

Adventures in…Potty Training is a post from: Alli 'n Son

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Sassy Eli

A few weeks ago I was pondering what Eli’s first curse word would be. I of course assumed that he would pick it up from me or Dad-oo and even went on to list some words that have been known to float through our house. But, as it turns out, I was wrong. Eli picked up his first curse word from his grandparents. Yes, you read that right. Dad-oo’s parents introduced Eli to his first naughty word. And of course, we all laughed after he said it.

Now, in their defense, they didn’t intentionally teach him this word. We were causally eating dinner at our house, homemade pizza (yum), drinking wine or beer. Eli was hobbling around on his cast, trying to grab food off our plates. Being the helpful Grandpa that he is, he introduced Eli to the word fork, as Eli grabbed for it off his plate. Then Grandma chimed in and repeated the word several times, to make sure that he understood it. And then Eli repeated it. Over and over and over. While my eyes continued to get bigger and bigger, because he wasn’t able to pronounce the full word. Oh no. He was leaving out the “r”. Yes, that’s right, Eli was saying the “f” word (this is a PG blog, you’re going to have to use your imagination to figure this one out). And they didn’t even realize that it had happened.

Finally Dad-oo stepped in. Eli kept repeating his new favorite word and the Grandparents were delighted that they were the ones to teach it to him, but they didn’t realize what it sounded like. Dad-oo kindly pointed it, there was a slight pause before Eli said it again, and then, of course, the Grandparents burst out laughing. Oh God. Can we please go back in time and stop this from even happening? No? OK, damage control then. Let’s teach Eli knife instead. Yes, much better. Sigh.

Thankfully he hasn’t repeated the word since then, even when it was mentioned the next day (I’ll give you two guesses who said it). I think for now, we’ve moved past it. Until I’m walking through the mall, and Eli decides to shout his new word at the top of his lungs. Much like he did with the word clock at Wal-Mart. I’ll give you one hint as to what that word sounds like. Eli doesn’t pronounce L’s very well.

The joys of having a toddler who picks up on every word he hears.

The "F" Word – Coming to an Eli Near You is a post from: Alli 'n Son

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Eli and His Applesauce

My little Eli is such a chatterbox. For being only 18 months old, he has an amazing vocabulary, and communicates so well, I can always usually figure out what he is asking for. And no, this isn’t just me bragging about how awesome my kiddo is (although he is pretty awesome), I’ve been told time and time again, from relatives, friends, doctors and random people at the mall how impressed they are by well he talks. *blush* That’s my baby.

It’s always funny to listen to a kiddo figure out a new word. Most of the time that word doesn’t come out quite right. The word sit often has an extra “h” hiding in it. Or truck sometimes sounds like it starts with an “f”, much to my embarrassment. Oh well, he’s learning. And I’m doing my best not to burst out laughing when he accidentally stumbles on a “naughty word”.

Tonight we were reading through WHERE WHALE WENT, which is quickly becoming one of Eli’s favorites books. As we read through the book, I point to each of whale’s new friends and have Eli repeat it back to me. Prawn morphs into Tron. Puffer Fish becomes puf-fer-ish. Turtle is still turtle. And octopus turns into applesauce. Yup, you read that right. Applesauce.

How in the world Eli put octopus and applesauce together, I’ll never know. I guess they do have similar sounds, but come on, they look nothing alike! Applesauce is brownish, squishy and sweet. Octopus’s are squiggly, wiggly and have 8 arms. Not one similarity. Silly kiddo. Maybe this is a sign that I need to get his eyes checked out? j/k

Kids Say the Funniest…Applesauce is a post from: Alli 'n Son